Two years ago (January 2018) I started recording what would become my first album, "Let Love Transform", in Portland, OR.
The decision to record that album was made during a 10-day silent meditation course known as Vipassana meditation. In the morning before entering the course, I pulled an oracle card. The card I pulled that day was "Let Love Transform".
At the time the message on the card spoke to the core of my being. Over the next 10 days of sitting in silence the meaning grew in depth and importance to me.
I had been writing the songs on the album for over 5 years. Together they painted an emotional picture that was very different than the person my friends and family knew. These songs were raw, melancholy, dark, confused.
In August 2017 I told a lie to the most important person in my life. This lie broke our relationship and I broke myself through telling it. I entered a period of darkness, of uncertainty, and faced some of my own biggest personal demons.
The first half of the album was written by a young version of myself that was a poor communicator, afraid of failure, confused about what is wrong and what is right. In my mind, I was not yet a man, regardless of my age. I had been holding onto shortcomings and judgments and expectations that were residual of my upbringing.
"Franza" brings about a turning point in the album - the realization that something is wrong and an understanding that I want to change.
What comes next on the album is an unraveling of my spiritual journey. A journey from fear to love. Let Love Transform is indicative of that journey.
While I sat for 10 days I observed at the experiential level the natural tendency for sensations to transform, to change.
This album is a testament to the transformational power of love. Love healed me when fear broke me.
It is also an acknowledgement that while love is constant, our perception of love is changing. We must let this perception transform so that we do not hold onto past versions of ourselves or others. We can stay open to the present moment and in that openness we can evolve through layers of transcendence.
I'm filled with gratitude that I have been blessed with this experience, this story. Thank you for reading and listening.
"I'll let love transform me. I'll let love transform."